On Photograms

My life in a photo:

All I can say is the Buddha would have a fit.

Proceeding counter-clockwise from the left:

160GB iPod Video - Classic? I don't know what they call the different versions. Apparently they don't make the version I have anymore. Yes I feel like a tool owning an iPod, but no one else makes them as big. I would've gotten a Zune, but i was at the 75GB mark when I was considering it, and I knew I'd be going over the line soon.

Samsung Instinct - I'd been carrying an old clamshell hand-me-down phone for literally 10 years. People used to look at me funny when I said, "That strange ring can't be my phone, my phone doesn't do ringtones." Anyway, it's sort of an iPhone knockoff, I guess? It suits me just fine, I just wish it cooperated better with my~

Sony DR-BT21G Bluetooth Headset - God dammit I love these headphones. I refuse to leave my apartment without them. I think I was about 15 years old when I first saw a concept image for a pair of wireless portable headphones in some tech magazine. I'd been wanting a pair ever since, and for my last birthday, the combined efforts of my mother and sister, via Amazon gift certificates, yielded me the most awesome headphones I've ever owned. For nearly a decade I was a stubborn mule about my portable audio, and refused to use anything but Sony MDR-G42s. They had been getting harder and harder to find each time I wanted to get a new pair, and this last year Sony finally stopped manufacturing them. In a panic, I decided it was time to take a leap of faith and hope the Bluetooth technology didn't need any more tweaking to be viable. Thankfully they sound just as good as my old G42s, and they're wireless. Grab a Sony iPod Bluetooth adapter, a Bluetooth dongle for my PC, and I've got a pair of headphones, with a built in mic and playback controls, which function with my iPod, PC, PS3, and phone. Good motherfucking times.

Sony PS3 Dualshock 3 controller - Obviously for the PS3, for which I am something of a fanboy. I am a self-proclaimed Sony whore. If I could afford a new laptop, I'd get a Vaio, All my headphones are sony, I tend to buy other products from companies who do business with some branch of Sony (Samsung, Pioneer, etc.). Don't get me wrong. If I could afford a Wii and a 360, and all the games I'd want for them, I'd totally go for it. I'm not so stupid as to turn away something good. But the ever present existence of scarcity means we have to choose sides, and I side with Sony (actually I side with Squaresoft, but they're still sort of allied with Sony, so it's appropriate that my fanboyish ties are slowly wearing.) I actually got my Dualshock 3 when it first came out in Japan. Ordered it off of Divineo for like $80. Pricey, yes, but it arrived amazingly fast considering it had to travel accross the Pacific.

Gingher Scissors - My mom got me these for Christmas this last year. Apparently Gingher is quite a fancy brand of scissors? My mom still has a pair of all-metal Ginghers which are older than I am. They're designed for fabric, so they kind of wear out up against paper. Either all my paper is super-abrasive, or paper just wreaks havoc on scissors in general. A run through a cheap sharpener keeps them working smoothly. Probably killing the blades, but whatever. Scissors are obviously a necessity in the papercraftings.

Olevia TV Remote - Okay, this is kind of symbolic. Nothing too amazing about the remote itself. It goes to a 27" Olevia I got two summers ago for surprisingly cheap. I actually decided I wouldn't buy a PS3 until I had an HDTV as well, and I was lucky enough to find this one on Newegg. Anyway, remote, general media-phile. Very deep metaphor there...

Nintendo DS Lite - Onyx. Fancier than black. I had actually been holding out on getting a DS for quite some time. I knew there were plenty of Square titles on the system, but I didn't want to spend the money, and I kept telling myself a viable DS emulator was just around the corner. Well I got my 11-year-old niece Final Fantasy Tactics A2 for her birthday this last summer (I've managed to get her a Final Fantasy title every gift giving occasion for the last two or three years, gotta get 'em started young), and the back of the box totally sold me. Finally caved and got a DS and an R4 card. Figure it was a reasonable purchase. the DS isn't an incredibly expensive console, and with the R4 card and (omfg super) cheap Micro SD card only costing about the price of a new game, I have zero upkeep cost for the system. Hey-ho piracy ahoy~

Sony PSP Phat - This is actually my...third PSP. I got one back when I first started college. See, I've actually been living on money left to me via insurance from my uncle who died the year before I started school. He was always the avid gamer of the family, and the one who usually brought the latest console at Christmas. Most of my apartment is full of his old furniture, and I take after him character-wise in a lot of ways. Anyway, I rationalized that getting a PSP, which already had a very healthy homebrew scene by then, would be a good way to honor his memory, playing the games he played on an emulator. Well I also thought it would be fun to install the first TV-Out mod. Failed. Hard. Ended up getting a new PSP the same week. Some time later, I bought a third because I thought the second one was dying. Turns out it was just the battery, which I turned into a Pandora battery after realizing the problem (and purchasing the third console). The Pandora has been pretty handy really. A friend of mine, Ian, has brought at least five PSPs to me to mod (always with some unknown acquaintance attached), and I'm happy to oblige. Gotta help the gamer 'cause, you know. I always make sure they have a look through my ISO library before they scamper off. What's the use in keeping the stuff if you don't share it, right? I like the Phat, because it retains the iR port, which makes a nifty universal remote with the right homebrew apps. However, I've modded a few of the new slim & lites. They're quite nice. I wouldn't mind getting one for the TV out capability. Crisis Core on the big screen would be quite fun.

And everything is seated atop a Ginger Self-Healing Cutting Mat - Another Christmas gift from dear-old mum. I'd been using a little paper-sized cutting mat I got from, well, not the school store, but a third party school store that's been on campus for ages. Served me well for six months. Still perfectly viable, but the new mat is hueg liek xbox. It's also reversible, which is kinda cool. Until I got this mat, I'd been using an old drawing board. It belonged to my brother in ages past, and he had scribbled the names of a plethora of shitty early-90s bands all over it. I inherited it, covered it in some more pointless tripe, then eventually pried of the clip at the top, and the bizarre plastic bar covering over the little recessed area (no idea what that was for...it's too small to hold writing utensils...). I spray painted it black to cover all the garbage, and drew a big target on the back with a silver sharpie, for use with my Nerf gun (I've got that same 6-shooter everyone always mods). Used it as a cutting board for papercraft on its own for a while, then started using it with the smaller cutting mat on top. The recessed area makes a nice little receptacle for paper scraps.


Take some time to ponder the symbology in this image. Maybe like, the fact that all the items are black is like...meaningful in that...my soul is like...dark and brooding and like...English majors all read way the fuck too far into things. And like, there's no symbolism in any of this, it's just fucking toys I play with. You know, dude? Wow dude, trippy. For real...Anyway...

One wonders why I would choose to stay up writing all this nonsense rather than enjoy some unconsciousness...

Hey, here's a thought: I'll go do that now.

(Did you get the Boondock Saints reference? Yeah? Good times)